Im just lying here in bed, not being able to sleep and thinking. In two days there's gonna be his funeral. And my brain just cant comprehend that i wont see him ever again. His body is now ash and thats it. Hes gone. Forever. I dont think I will miss him, as harsh as that sounds, but its hard to love someone thats been pretty much verbally abusing you your whole life.
It just makes me wonder, what happens after? Is it just darkness, nothingness? Are we really forever gone?
Is that really all there is to it?
I dont believe in God, but it would be really nice to believe that theres something after all of this.

Fuck yeah, deep shit :D